Show notes by show producer/podcastologist: One of the Taylor Sisters
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Nice Guy’s New Year 2019
‘Twas the week after Christmas for the podcasting Nice Guys
They were back on dry land, thankful their cruise ship didn’t capsize.
Because they recorded last week’s shows as they drank on the boat
They asked me to join ‘em today to read the poem that I wrote
It’s not a holiday poem anymore because it’s not Christmas time
But you’ll still enjoy my story because it’s funny and rhymes.
So, sit back and listen while the guys grab a snack
I’ll get things started by saying “Welcome back, welcome back.”
On one side of the mic is Strickland from Texas
He drives a red shiny new Tesla, instead of a Lexus
On the other side of the mic is Sandler, or Doug if you like
He doesn’t own a car, but he did buy a bike.
After 700+ episodes of the podcast, things were going so great
So why did they decide to leave the Old Line State?
You see both guys used to live in Baltimore, by the Chesapeake Bay
But Doug had some personal issues and he moved to LA
Now although the podcast isn’t known for relationship advice,
If you have questions about divorce, ask Doug, he’s been through it twice.
Left all alone in Maryland after Doug bolted West
Strickland and his family thought it’d be best…
To sell their Maryland house for almost less than it cost him
And so they packed up and moved to a new home in Austin
While no one really knows what Data Analysts do
We hope his new Office Space in the basement has his stapler too.
With all of this movement that could make them quite dizzy,
The TurnKey podcasting venture has kept the boys busy.
The Nice Guys podcast continues to air five days a week
But it’s not recommended if – a – good- show you do seek.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday you’ll hear Doug as the host
When it comes to interviews, he’s better than most
He’ll dig for some insights, about business and sales
But on Tuesday and Thursday the show jumps off the rails
It’s just Doug and Strickland talking and sharing a laugh
They try to stay organized, they try to stay on task
But within minutes of starting, Doug is off on a whim
And then Strick’s lost the reigns as soon as they begin.
Sometimes they have topics to keep them on track
But as soon as Strickland starts the show “Welcome back, welcome back”
Doug says, “Before we begin, can I just ask a just go off topic?”
Proving his attention span is below microscopic.
The “Fuckery Shows” as they’re perhaps better known
Will make you laugh, make you cry, make you cringe, make you groan
But the loyal listeners will tune in, no matter what the boys have planned
Perhaps that’s why they’re called the show’s Funk ‘N Fans.
There’s Virginia & Jenny, who are both really pretty
There’s Emerald Peaceful Green Forest and my friend Stefanie Sersland from Iowa City
Don’t forget Tennessee Tim Hill, and Paul Merena’s a hero
He was the show’s very first listener, a.k.a Patient Zero
What about the list of discussions from Strickland’s speed read?
Or the voice mails they get which they usually tease
Will start off Thursday’s episode, they promote like a plug
For their toll-free number at 42-42 DJ Doug
There’s Ryan Bokros from H-Town, he’s a regular caller,
When he’s not selling real estate, he’ll give the boys a holler
But the King of the callers, and there is no compare
Is the guy’s get a voice mail that starts, “Hey Doug, this is Jared…”
Of course, the show couldn’t happen without the support staff and crew
They work hard behind the scenes to let the guys do what they do
The TurnKey empire has grown thru the year
Creating lots of good content for more listeners to hear.
Now in last year’s holiday poem it wasn’t my intention
To forget about Dani and not give her a mention.
I heard after the fact that she was really quite pissed
So I’ll bring her up first so she will not be missed.
There is Lexi, and Marjorie, and Ah-na, and Laura,
There’s Brit, Jessie, Christopher and I don’t mean to bore ya
But there’s a staffer named Chelsea, who handles show notes.
I feel kinda bad that no one ever reads what she wrote.
And don’t worry I won’t forget Miss JJ Flizanes
She has stolen Doug’s heart and drives him insane
She’ll help find your freedom, she’ll empower your life
If she plays her cards right, she’ll soon be Doug’s third wife.
She brought Doug out to Cali to start life anew
Now he’s into yoga, and Paleo, taking naps, and woo woo.
But we’re all glad Doug’s back to a life filled with fun
Maybe it’s just because his alimony is done?
So now in 2019, where will the show go?
Will the co-hosts stay focused and continue to grow…
Their loyal listening audience from the East to the West?
Will they sharpen their game, go from better to best?
Can they keep the showing going without any reason,
If only to hit 1,000 episodes, and start a new season?
Will they keep the old gags or start something new?
Do you think they’ll ever get a three-star review?
But in all seriousness, it’s time to talk real
And let you guys know how the Funk-n-Fans feel
We love what you stand for, we’re all hip to your vibe.
We are proud to be part of your Fuckery Tribe.
Drive the train off the tracks, keep shooting the shit.
Let the topics pile up, you’ll eventually get to it.
Keep finding good stories from your multiple guests
And remember..If this is your first time tuning in, this is as good as it gets.
So let’s all toast with a cosmo, a scotch, hell why not a Zima
If things go wrong, just play The Girl from Ipanema.
On behalf of Doug and Strick, this is Sean Carpenter, let’s have a good year
And like we end every show, Steve O’Brien…take us outta here.