Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology and a doctorate in developmental psychology. She spent the early portion of her career as a psychotherapist for children in Chicago’s child welfare system and then stepped into academia for ten years. As a professor, she delivered a number of well-received presentations at national and international psychology conferences, covering issues such as identity development and family dynamics.
Despite these credentials, she’s no stuffy academic peering down from the Ivory Tower. She get’s into it with Doug on today’s episode.
Intro
- Do nice guys finish first?
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- In love, yes
- You have got to be you
- Dating losers is part of the journey
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- Don’t be so worried about how you are dating, just date, be present and learn
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is the Shit
- We are telling ourselves things all day everyday, and our thoughts are linked to our emotions and ultimately our behavior
- Changing our mindset takes some work
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- It is like a muscles, you have got to exercise
- It is never too late for love
- At the end of anyone’s life, the connections with other are the most meaningful things
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- Personal relationships affect business relationships and vice versa
- The frustration from singles in this generation is that they feel very disposable
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- Swipe left, swipe right etc.
- If someone didn’t give you a chance, they are not meant for you
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- Don’t take it as a rejection but rather a dodged bullet (i.e. mental shift)
Happily Ever… What?
- You have to be willing to wait and experience the tension of being alone
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- Your alone time or lonely moments are preparing you for a stronger, more long-lasting happily ever after
- The relationships that tend to be the strongest are those that enjoy their independent time
- There is a difference between comprising and lowering your standards
- Individuate yourself from your parents
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- You can love your mother but not do everything she tells you to do
- You can assure your parents that you are “Ok”
- If you are married and mentally single, there is a problem with that
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- There is a difference between being independent and having a ‘single’ mentality
- There is no scorecard in a marriage
Check out Dr. Karin’s website and services- http://www.drkarin.me/
Dr. Karin’s book “Single is the New Black” Available on Amazon, click here
Show notes: Production Assistant – Anna Nygren http://www.annavnygren.com/
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